Beauty as subjectively defined, society, and media

Lately I've heard a ton of comments from people and also have read a bunch of stuff involving the topic of physical beauty. These comments range from issues surrounding underlying self-esteem to hatred and even malice.

Here are some examples:

• "I'm 24 and still a virgin. No guy will ever want to (do) me."
• "I hate the engagement photos and wedding photos that people post in their profile pictures. Every day they remind me of how single and lonely I am."
• "I'm so ugly. I was bullied in high school and lost 30 pounds. Now guys want me, not for who I am but for my body. When can I find a decent guy?"
• "Why do people post Facebook statuses about how wonderful their significant others are? Are they out just to laugh at me?"
• "The girls who talk about "27 and still single" are just too messed up to get anyone."
• "Someone recently confided in me that she got raped. At least she was attractive enough that someone wanted to rape her."
• "I'm too fat. Nobody wants me."
• "Why can't I get a guy?"
• "No one likes the nice guys."
• "Nice guys always finish last."
• "I'm single, unemployed, and living in my childhood bedroom. I'm a loser."

  Whatever people and society think about these comments, these words still reflect underlying issues - doubt, uncertainty, regret, lack of self-esteem and self-worth, even jealousy and hatred. Despite these facts, this is a serious issue that needs to be addressed.

• Life is what life is, but you control how you're portrayed.  Whatever your beliefs are - atheism, God, Buddha, Allah, Sikh, animistic beliefs, etc - uniqueness was endowed onto your body and your mind. Despite how cliched this sounds, your soul, your mind, and your spirit are things that you control. The looks you were born with will remain, but it's the way that you react and portray to them that define who you are. Think about it - the girl who is beautiful but hides her face in fear will never be noticed by people, but the girl who stands tall and proud will be noticed because her face will be visible to the world.
• Plastic surgery can come along, but it also comes with other, "unhideable" results. Anyone who has had surgery will tell you that the recovery process is extremely, extremely painful. And the thing is that physical beauty is temporary. Eventually, the human body, due to telomere shortening in DNA will overcome telomerase, and starts degenerating. Wrinkles will set in, no matter how many botox injections you get and how many nose jobs, tummy tucks, etc you get. Think about it this way - suppose you are very successful and are able to get botox injections to paralyze your facial muscles every week. Your muscles will still limit your facial expressions, and even if your face may look younger, the other parts of your body - mottled skin on your hands, your weak knees and presbyopic eyes will give your true age away.
•  Rape is a horrible tragedy and crime. Contrary to popular belief, rape isn't about sexual desire or arousal. It is, more than anything, about control, power, and stems from anger. Think about the 70-year old woman who was raped. Boko haram. Nanjing. The women in these tragedies have numerous differences in factors of age, attractiveness, body types, etc. What do they have in common though? They were all in situations where perpetrators were assuming control of situations. Conflicts involving anger and violence. Rape isn't a beautiful thing; it's a sad consequence of choices and situation resulting in violence and rage.
• Engagement, marriage, and having children are beautiful passages of life and are celebrated. When one becomes jealous of people displaying their lives publicly, imagine what they are thinking on the other side of the situation.  I'm so happy XY proposed after 9 years of dating. I'm finally getting security after years of uncertainty. I can finally take my OkCupid account down for good. My parents will finally stop nagging me about having grandchildren. I'll be able to give my daughter the brooch my mom gave to me. Aren't these beautiful thoughts? There's bad enough news on years of conflict, problems in government, sensationalized trials and internet pirating, among numerous other subjects. Isn't good news something to celebrate?  
•  Life is what you make of it. Yes, this is a cliche, but these words reveal a great deal of truth. Everyone is born with weaknesses and vices, but it's how they deal with them that defines who they are and what they make of themselves. Think of Lizzie Velasquez, one of the world's thinnest people who was born with a condition that could not allow her to have any body fat. She was scorned and ridiculed at school, to the point where someone posted a YouTube video naming her the "ugliest girl alive". Yet she didn't let that stop her. She focused on the positive parts of herself - the fact that she only had to buy half the contact lenses that most people buy because she could only see through one eye, the fact that she has beautiful, ravishing hair, the fact that she graduated from college. As Condoleezza Rice once said, ""You can't change your circumstances, but you can change your response to them." Lizzie did exactly that, and because of it, people see her inner beauty and strength, and admire her for her bravery and courage all at the same time.

Bottom line - everyone has their share of insecurities, faults and weaknesses. But it is our actions, our thoughts, and beliefs that ultimately dictate what we are and how the world perceives of us. A wise friend of mine once told me that when you show your true self, and when you proudly present yourself the way you really are, when you are happy for others and accept your own life, others will see that, and truly respect and admire you.

I encourage everyone to go out there and proudly show your true selves. I wish you the best in your lives and endeavors.

Thoughts on relationships

Ahh... relationships, relationships, relationships. The subject of much gossip, the lore of rom-com movies and sitcoms, the giggly-girly feelings and awkwardness that young girls and boys feel, all the way to the more practical aspects of arranged marriages, tradition, courtship and beyond.

Growing up, like many other little girls, I was caught up with the idealistic romanced version of love. Of a handsome prince sweeping me off my feet and into a castle (well, Kate Middleton did that, but it took a lot of work). Some tumultuous relationship with ups and downs like Carrie Bradshaw. Heaps of exciting dates, amazing adventures, cuddling by the fireplace, etc. Feisty drama and parental concerns.

What did I get in reality?

A mix of some but other surprises.

Thankfulness

Often times people ask about the purpose of life. Of course. We're living it. It's one of the biggest things that people contemplate over - the philosophical meanings and abstract livelihoods of our pithy existence on this planet.

I've been thinking about this topic pretty much since childhood. I remember one day in the 4th grade when I drew a huge circle in the dirt during recess. I wanted to sit in the middle of it and think about the sun above my eyes - why we were here, what was the purpose of the time we were given to play about under the sun. Was I going to be given free time forever? Was I always going to be stuck in my short body as a fourth grader? How on earth was I going to move through to middle school? (I couldn't even fathom the idea of life beyond grade 6.)

Well of course, time passed and I started middle school. Before I knew it, somehow I landed myself in college and afterward medical school.

Today, I still think about this question. What is my purpose in life? What is my worth? The Church teaches us that we do things for God's glory and that He has a plan for every one of us. I think that's a valid conclusion. We shape our own lives through actions with guidance. The mentorship that guides us is omnipresent. Whether it's in the form of upper levels, professors, counselors, role models, divine intervention, parents, siblings, friends or anyone else, we seek to understand life through others' experiences and relate them to our own. We attempt to either emulate (or learn not to emulate) others through their actions and speech.

I've definitely grown during college and medical school in this regard. During my still novice experiences in medical school, I've learned more about the doctor-patient interaction, the value of teamwork in order to accomplish goals, and more so, a bit more about my own purpose in life. Our lives are shaped every day by our interactions with others, who we hang out with, and ultimately, the way we think and act.

There's several other role models I've recently added to the list. Recently, two of our professors passed away from pancreatic cancer. It was quite devastating for all of us (students, professors, friends and colleagues alike), especially considering that they had influenced us, taught us, and guided us so much throughout our medical education. Another esteemed professor who has been battling pancreatic cancer recently celebrated his 5-year remission. I'm going to go to a party to celebrate his milestone in a few weeks. Pancreatic cancer is a devastating disease. I've lost a loved one to it. I'm just glad that these people are at peace, and that one professor - one person - one more person - has been able to overcome it.

Life and responsibilities: the past vs today

Last night, I was talking to my in-laws. I was inquiring as to what envelopes they had, and if we could have some of them, since they almost never write checks, and we have to all the time. But they didn't have the kind we wanted - specifically, security-covered check-sized envelopes.

I responded that we would just go to Amazon to buy them. My father-in-law chuckled.

Every day at my condo complex, hoards of packages come in. Boxes of all shapes and sizes come hither, bringing forth every good one could possibly imagine.

A lot of these customers are young people - people ranging from teenagers to those in their 30s and 40s. Young adults - millennials, as they say - get many, if not most, of their products off of this one site.

Even more than this, lots of other businesses are getting their "business" online. Clothing companies, pet box subscriptions, hardware stores and more - more and more products are being sold online instead of at brick-and-mortar stores.

Why is this? Who's winning? Who's suffering?

For one thing, it seems that millennials today are expected to do MUCH more work than previously expected. What I mean by this is that originally, with the advent of bigger and better technology, people thought that our lives would become easier. Instead, it has triggered a scale of invitations to have more responsibilities and other items to complete. Beforehand, people used to go to the library to look up topics in encyclopedias and journal articles. Now, we can access them at home.

But what is the trade-off? We do have more access to such media. But we are expected, instead, to have more responsibilities. We are allotted shorter amounts of time to access such things and are expected to produce more output, ever day.

Case in point is the modern working mom. My mom works a 60-hour a week job, but still has the responsibilities of all of the cooking and cleaning in the house. (My dad's culinary skills are terrible. Nobody wants to eat what he makes anyway.) How is she able to do this? She multi-tasks almost all of the time - starting the laundry as soon as she gets home, programming the oven so that it automatically turns on/off so that food is not undercooked or overcooked, using a high-tech rice cooker with both "cook" and "keep warm" settings, etc. At the end of the day, she sets on both the laundry machine and the dishwasher so that another load of laundry could be done, and the dishes would be washed overnight.

Her mother, a generation ago, was a full-time homemaker. She needed all of the time during the day, 24/7, to do all of the chores and cooking. She needed more time to change diapers, because she had to wash cloth diapers - unlike the luxury my mom had with disposable diapers. Laundry had to be washed entirely by hand. Technology was less advanced, and that meant that less things could be done at the same time.

Mind you - this was a long time ago, perhaps during the second world war era. So technology wasn't as great as it was now.

But the point is that, despite the fact that my mom needs a lot less time to perform such responsibilities than her mother, she (my mother) is bombarded with more responsibilities in addition. Her full-time job to "bring home the dough" takes up time, and she is also expected to do other things, such as type at a computer, text her children with tons of emojis, etc.

Which gets me back to my original point. Today's generation - nay, everyone living in today's technological world - is expected to do more things. Need to buy groceries? Don't go to the grocery store - use Amazon Pantry instead, so you can save time to do something else. Need a new couch? Don't make the drive out to Ikea - just look online at the reviews and pick one that is to your liking. Even simple things such as buying a present for someone requires only a search and the click of a button, rather than a trip to the mall, complete with used time and gas, etc.

But instead of saying "Yipee! We have more free time!", instead, we are bombarded with more responsibilities. Instead of using that extra time to relax, we're expected to spend more time on our jobs and obtain even more responsibilities than before. For example, as a student, life is filled with endless studying and working at the hospital. When I get home, I run the dishwasher and the laundry, load after load, while cleaning the floor and making coffee by the pot. I continue running the delicates while looking at a book - a book on the iPad. The husband, at work, runs tons of tests on machines at the same time, due to the sheer fact that many, many virtual machines are available for use. He isn't just using ENIAC. He's using i9 or whatever.

So ultimately, what wins? Whose lifestyle and responsibilities are better? Honestly, I don't know. Life is what life is. We are just simply inculcated to the responsibilities we are given. At the end of the day, we just have to do what we need to do. And that's that.

Winter Days

Winter days by luciaz168 featuring a rectangle tissue box holder

Wrinkles, oh wrinkles

Confession: I've always associated wrinkles with old people. Growing up, I would hear my mother become super sad whenever she got a new wrinkle. Her laments helped reinforce the fact that we all eventually become old and saggy.

When I started medical school, I encountered a very diverse group of students. Students from age 20 to 36 were included in my class. People who graduated several years early and people who came back to school after putting in years of hard work in their previous careers. Some students looked very young, like they could be in middle school; others looked like they could be those so-called middle school students' parents.

I never thought I looked old though. Just a few months ago I was mistaken for a high-schooler in my hometown. However, yesterday, when I looked in the mirror, I noticed it. Just like my mother had lamented, I too recognized my first wrinkle on my forehead. Yikes. I had grown old.

Honestly, how old do I feel now though? I recently took this quiz on Buzzfeed. This quiz, titled "What age are you, really?" revealed that although I am only 23, I actually am a 41-year old. Yikes. I've always known that medical school, despite its exciting nature and intricate details, always took a toll on me, and that included a physical aspect. During these past 1.5 years, I've have hefty times of extreme stress, crazy times of upheaval and sadness, intense moments of happiness and satisfaction, arduous study hours, and all the like. Getting yelled at by superiors for making the same mistakes every medical student makes. Dealing with family problems and personal problems. Renovating multiple parts of my condo despite the fact that I don't own it. Financial problems of a typical medical student. Did medical school really age me that much? Had all of these educational endeavors taken such a heavy toll?

I don't know. Perhaps that quiz isn't that accurate. Perhaps it's the fact that my life was just meant to be like this. Like mother, like daughter. History repeats upon itself, despite the fact that I regularly use all of those retinols and skincare goodness.

Medical school is supposed to be one of the hardest educational tracks to pursue in the world. Some taut it to be even more difficult than graduate school and professional schools (JD, MBA, etc). Is it the root cause of my physical deterioration? Or is it that the Texas sun has completely underminded my body despite my Asian genes, and has decided to give me problems at age 23?

All summed up in some random forehead wrinkles. Bleeh.

Question from Gossmakeupartist: What are your beauty regrets?

Here's another one from Wayne Goss!

This is a spin-off of a YouTube video originally created by Gossmakeupartist on YouTube, titling, "What are your beauty regrets?"




So thus I decided to also answer this question.

Here are my top beauty regrets:

1. Not putting sunscreen onto my face and body early on in life - before I got freckles on my face, and for not understanding sunscreen until I was halfway through college.
2. Not developing a good skincare routine until I was halfway through college, nor understanding proper skincare until that time as well.
3. Overdesquamating/exfoliating my face when I first developed acne in the 8th grade/9th grade.
4. Listening to just hearsay and customer reviews rather than understanding the science of how skin really worked and how to take care of myself properly.
5. Not getting enough sleep in middle and high school and thus developing very large dark circles as a result.
6. Not eating enough beauty foods and focusing on junk foods. Especially during my younger years.
7. Not understanding the concept of lotion and once using Listerine as a way to "cleanse" my skin. I ran that stuff over my skin for ~30 min. Argh it burns!
8. Not being careful during cooking and thus having ultra-scarred hands.
9. Overplucking my eyebrows and getting ridiculed at.
10. Using Nair. So itchy!
11. Using black eyeliner for a brow liner. Hello unibrow Godzilla!
12. Not blending in my eyeshadow properly.
13. Using a water-based mascara and not curling my eyelashes beforehand; hello raccoon eyes and watering eyes!
14. Wearing the wrong shade of concealer (too light).
15. Sleeping with makeup on (happens more rarely now)
16. Cutting my nails too short (ouch!)
17. Leaving on old nail polish for 4+ weeks (hello yellow tinge!)
18. Not putting Mederma on my old scars.
19. Picking at my cuticles.
20. Hunching my back while studying - so bad!!!

So there you go. There are more regrets but these are the ones that come out the fastest. Do y'all have similar regrets?

Come to the beach with me~

Come to the beach with me~ by luciaz168 featuring a waterproof liquid eyeliner

Hollister Co hollister co
hollisterco.com

Juicy Couture swim suit
bloomingdales.com

Gottex
$160 - pret-a-beaute.com

Two piece swimwear
target.com

H m
$6.28 - hm.com

Beach Panties beach tote
$54 - zalando.co.uk

Tory burch
toryburch.com

LOFT sun hat
loft.com

Key chain
zgallerie.com

MAKE UP FOR EVER waterproof liquid eyeliner
sephora.com

Clinique
sephora.com

Shiseido beauty product
nordstrom.com

Nautical Navy and White Striped Eygptian Cotton Beach Towel
$43 - black.co.uk

Personalized Water Bottles
weddingshop.theknot.com

Galaxy S3 Decal, Samsung Cover, Galaxy S3 i9300 Case Skin, PLUS...
etsy.com

drugstore.com
drugstore.com

drugstore.com
drugstore.com

Tag: 50 Facts About Me, Part 3 (Philosophy/randomness edition)

1. People keep on asking me if I want to become a dermatologist after they find out I have this blog. Truthfully, this blog is a hobby. And also, I'm only a 1st year med student; I barely know anything about the world. I have no idea what type of doc I want to truly be. 
2. Some people may be cynical and think I made this blog because I want to be a dermatologist because dermatology can be a very profitable specialty. This is absolutely false. I started this blog during my junior year of college as a hobby; I didn't do this in order for it to look good on my resume. If I become a dermatologist, then it will be awesome. But if I don't, then I'll be very happy anyway. Who knows. I change my mind about my specialty every couple of weeks, starting at the age of... oh, I think perhaps sophomore year of college. In high school I wanted to be a cardiologist. Then neurologist during senior year of high school during graduation. Then pediatrician -> family medicine -> internal medicine -> dermatology -> general surgery (Thank you Grey's Anatomy) -> internal medicine -> pediatrics -> psychiatry -> neurology -> ENT -> pediatrics. Who knows?
3.  I love making Chinese food.
4. Many children have the luxury of parents helping them with their homework during their younger years. For immigrant children like myself, it was very different. I had to learn English on my own, figure out grammar rules, do extra practices, etc. It wasn't till perhaps mid-high school did my English fully feel "good", per se. By that I mean creative enough to get top-notch scores on AP Exams, do critical analyses that truly made sense, be able to formulate things well.
5. I think self-reliance is a very big thing I've prided myself on in many ways. I don't believe in luck; in fact, I don't think I've been lucky per se, many times in my life. What I do know is that I've worked for the things I have and I treasure them very much. I feel very lucky to have been accepted into a Southern Ivy college and a top-notch medical school though.
6. I believe that no matter what one does, there are always struggles in life. As soon as you overcome one obstacle, another rises in your path. There is no clear, smooth path in life.
7. Suffering is a form of penance but it brings one closer to God. It makes you depend on God more and makes you think more about God. And improves your spirituality in ways!
8. I think that often bullying/being bullied is a rite of passage. I definitely was bullied during middle school and those years (in some ways) were terrible. But it also made me appreciate the things and times when I was not bullied. It made me stronger. Who care about things that people say about minutiae? It really doesn't matter. What matters is your reaction to it. You can either be petty and respond in equally acerbic ways or be the bigger person and walk away with your head held high.
9. And speaking of the previous point, I realize that there are some people in this world who are definitely very immature. In high school I was in the math club, and was one of the few girls on the team. Many of the boys were very immature, making crude jokes and laughing off things that, if mentioned during any lecture or discussion in my medical career, could even have been reported to the Deans. I think the boys seriously just needed to grow up. And I think they have.
10. One thing I'm trying to learn better is to forgive. To be the bigger person and remember there is a greater role in this world. That little things pass. Perhaps my surgeries and past plights were the "sticks and stones", but I'm trying not to make "meanie words" get to me. One thing that I realized about bullying is that when you don't respond to bullies, the kick they get from your response - your retaliation - is gone. And from that, they actually get frustrated. In fact, it doesn't even seem fun to bully you anymore.
11. Violence is not the answer. I've seen some things in the hospital (where I work at) that have definitely been quite crazy. Trauma patients. Domestic abuse. Rape. Psychotic breaks. Violence is never the answer. What it does is create a lot of hurt and physical persistent pain that has to be treated. And more people wind up in the hospital at 3 AM when that tired resident is trying to manage 20 other patients at the same time.
12. I think there is quite a degree of romance in studying in places like coffee shops, tea shops, etc. Think of all of the writers who coined their first pieces in these places! Think of the struggling actors and actresses who worked in these places while auditioning for roles before landing their first big hit! And I think about the pharmacy students, optometry students, law students, engineering students, and undergrad (general) students sitting around me... and think... we are all in this together =D

Miscellaneous:

1. I have a feeling that I will probably use the same phone I have right now till I graduate from med school. Seriously, I barely have any $$. And plus, I really like the one I have! Samsung Galaxy S2!
2. 9gag is awesome. IMO.
3. My phone's connection to the computer is currently broken (I can't use the connecting software) so downloading pics is not fun -_-
4. Backaches due to sleeping funny are not fun.
5. I'd like to grow my hair out back to its old 2.5-3 ft (or longer). Truthfully, keeping it this long is quite a bit of work.
6. Things I'd like to go to someday again: the opera, basketball game starring Jeremy Lin, a ballet performance (a formal one)
7. Things I'd like to go to/do for the first time: skydive, kayak on a river, ride on a giant tortoise in the Galapagos Islands, ride on the wings of a Giant Condor (ok, yeah, that'll probably never happen XD)
8. And I just realized... I really need to go to the bathroom... so here's my 50 facts!

Why I haven't been doing NOTD in awhile

Okay guys,

I'm here to fess up. I haven't been doing NOTD entries for awhile. In fact, not for a few months, perhaps. As my friends on this blog, one must know that I absolutely ADORE nail polish. Sure, it smells really bad during application, but afterwards, it looks so pretty. It also feels kinda cool, especially on my toes.

The reason why I haven't been doing them is because of my lab work.

As you guys might know (perhaps or perhaps not), I am a biology major in university right now. As part of my requirements for graduating with a B.S. (Bachelor of Science), I must produce a thesis on my research at the end of this semester. Thus, this means that I have to do a lot of lab work in the field. And this means, of course, that I CANNOT wear nail polish. Or rather, I could, but it would just end up getting chipped the next day in lab. During this past semester (August - December 2011) I have gotten a total of 13 split nails. And they were painful. This doesn't count chipped nails. There are wayyy too many of those to count. And what's worse is that sometimes, my split nails themselves have gotten split. This is where it really sucks.

Thus, guys, Even though you might see in some of my photos that I have taken that I have painted nails, that is because I took the pictures earlier on, and that I reviewed the products later or something. I just took the pictures earlier. I feel that after this semester is over, my nails will need A LOT of TLC, because they have definitely taken a giant beating.

During my Thanksgiving weekend, the bf (more about him later) and I went to the local mall. You know you see those nail shops along the aisles where people walk and stuff between stores? Well, the guys manning the shops came up to me and kept on showing me how crappy my nails were, and how they buffed them and made them all pretty and shiny and everything. Well, not surprisingly, due to lab work, two weeks later, they turned to crap again. Oh well.

So, therefore, it might be awhile until I do my next NOTD, because of the fact that my work simply does not allow me to do so. I guess those are the pains of trying to make a beauty blog and trying to lead a life as a bio student as well.

Anyways, this was just a truthful moment speaking. Let me know if you would like more of these truthful conversations. I feel that I revealed a bit more about myself today in this post than in previous ones where I post reviews and hauls and stuff like that. What do you guys think?

<3

Dating advice - reblogged

These are personality qualities, you may be able to find these in the Hunkiest Fireman, to the Doctor with brains pouring out his ears, and you may also be able to find these qualities in computer nerds, or Army personnel. Now I’ve specifically left out any sexually based lines in here, as much as sex does become a large part of a lot of relationships, there’s a vast number of girls out there looking for a Good Boyfriend, and for a “Good Boyfriend” sex is a side effect of the actual relationship, not the center of it. Conversation, the ability to talk to each other, without it devolving into a roaring argument is the center. Well here’s my 25 qualities that make for a good Boyfriend. Feel free to add any others that aren’t covered under mine.

25. He will surprise you with the small gestures, even when it's no special occasion, but not frequently enough that these surprises are expected.

24. When he's planning a party involving invitation, he rights your invitation, first, and last, mails one, and personally delivers the other to you.

23. He'll survive "Being Killed" in a computer or console game, when you want to get his attention, and won't blame you when he meets his spectacularly bloody end.

22. He Notices when you get your hair done, and doesn't tell you that you look like a man now.

21. Once in a while, after months or years of being together, he goes into an entire new period of concentrated kind gestures, gifts, and fun dates, as so to not let things run stale.

20. He talks solidly to you, about anything, for a Minimum 20 minutes a day, even away on business. Busy schedule? He'll have to make the time.

19. When the time is available, he'll stay up chatting over the phone, or across a pillow, for Hours, and then let you sleep in the morning to catch up on lost sleep.

18. He has a small jealous streak, to let you know he cares about you, but doesn't allow this to consume him with a possessive personality over you.

17. He'll accept you for all your quirks, loving the cute ones that define you as who you are, and forgiving the ones that aren't so cute "Hun, I bought my 3000th pair of shoes today, what do you think?"

16. He will always support you in any conflicts you have, during those conflicts, but will reserve the right to air his point of view on the whole situation, if he feels things could be handled differently, when he talks to you privately about it with you, after supporting you in the conflict anyways.

15. He will be your voice of reason, thinking as a logical second set of eyes when you want to do something that could be very stupid, he will tell you his concerns on the matter to make them clear, and then if you still want to do it, He'll support you straight through to the end.

14. He calls you Beautiful rather than Hot, and truly knows that Beauty is the combination of Physical and personality appeal, rather than Hot which is simply raw Physical appeal

13. Has the Nerve to be honest with you, even when the answer to the question you asked, is going to hurt.

12. If something is troubling him, he'll tell you the whole situation, and ask for your advice, because he values your opinions.

11. He will like your pets, take any medication he needs to be able to handle them, and buy them a pet treat from time to time, they're part of your family, and should be treated as such.

10. He Will NOT find some "Accidental" way to kill Fluffy the Dog, or Princess the Kitty, because the Animal sensed his Devil stench

9. When you want to take Dance Lessons, he agrees to join you, as a dance partner, if it's ballet, he should agree to wear a tutu, though for pole dancing, he will only agree to be there to watch.

8. He will give you the moral support you may need from time to time, letting you know that you can achieve anything that you put your mind to.

7. He has enough guts, that when you say you want to do some crazy, near suicidal experience, he'll give you a passionate kiss while you're freefalling from that airplane.

6. He will realise that the key to a girl’s heart, is not jewellery, but him having a healthy relationship with her best friends.

5. He is of the maturity to be able to realize, that he does have faults. Not all of which can just be overcome easily, but for you, he tries to be a better man.

4. He will learn from His Mistakes.

3. When he sees that you're pissed off, or upset about something, he first asks if ‘you are Ok?’ And then asks if ‘you want’ to tell him what's wrong.

2. Puts the Toilet Seat DOWN, and cleans the whole toilet, without being asked once a week. Untold small girlfriends have been eaten sewer gators because of careless Boyfriends leaving the seat up.

1. He makes YOU feel like the Perfect Girlfriend.

Goals for life/petty things/weird things!

1. Solve a rubix cube
2. Learn to knit, sew, crochet
3. Learn to iron clothing
4. Learn to grill
5. Visit the Eiffel Tower and go to the top
6. Go to the forests of Washington and see what Twilight's scenes were really like
7. Attend to a chocolate convention and try lots of new chocolates
8. Dive in the Great Barrier Reef off of the coast of Australia
9. Go to Antarctica, get surrounded by a bunch of Emperor Penguins (which are about as tall as I am)
10. Pet a seal
11. Own a labradoodle or golden doodle
12. Grow my hair out long and soft (I cut it really short this past summer)
13. Be able to wear 3'' high heels for 4 hrs straight w/o pain
14. Make a snow angel
15. Go cow tipping
16. Learn a 4th language
17. Visit Japan
18. Visit Spain
19. Learn to do french nails well
20. Read more of V.C. Andrews's books (very controversial author)
21. Go skydiving
22. Go bungee jumping
23. Ride in a helicopter
24. Fly around the world in 48 hours
25. Fly on first class
26. Fall asleep in a bathtub
27. Have a 12-hour chick flick movie marathon
28. Fly on the wings of a giant eagle or condor (just like in Avatar)
29. See an actual solar eclipse or lunar eclipse with my own eyes, rather than on a TV or laptop screen
30. Visit my 3rd grade teacher and tell him how he changed my life (a lot of the things I learned then I still remember now!! We were learning 5th, 6th grade history and science then, and getting the workload of the 6th grade. Wow!)

Anyways, those are some of the things that I want to do before I.... well, just go meet my maker. Of course some of them are ridiculous. What giant eagle or condor would let me fly on it? Lolz.

<3

Soo sick...

Hey guys,

Lately I've been really sick. I've been studying for exams all week (crazy classes, all piling up at the same time!) and I think it's really taken a toll on me. I've had a cold and cough, as well as a fever, and it's really sucked. I've used up 2 trash cans worth of tissues. One night I pulled an all-nighter studying for a biology exam and ran out of tissues, and had to use paper towels instead. That really hurt, and it scraped my nose raw, so I had to use vicks to fix that up :(

Still working on getting better, but right now my regiment is:
1. Lots of vit c drops
2. Tons of cough drops
3. Vicks rub
4. Tea
5. Water
6. Tons and tons of tissues

My best friend is also sick, and we've had basically the same problem. Lolz!

All righty, time to try to do more work (only 1 more test this week!), then more class, then more work, then sleep.

<3

Getting married, engaged, having kids???

Hey guys and gals,

So, currently, I'm a senior in college. I'm 21 years old. I feel like my life is just beginning, that perhaps sometimes I still feel like I'm a child. However, sometimes it seems like my friends, peers, and acquaintances who are around my age are growing up way faster than I am!

Lately, three of my friends have just gotten engaged. One of my former roommates just got married. Several of my friends from high school are having children.

Wow... time is moving so quickly. As my third grade teacher would put it, "Tempus Fugit", or "time flies" in Latin. In a few years, I will be at the age my mother was when she got engaged. However, I am amazed at all of these people 'getting hitched' - I still feel like I'm a child at times; I want to mature more during school, go through professional school, get my career started, etc, before I'm ready to "get married and have kids." Sure, my biological clock is ticking. Every woman's biological clock is constantly ticking. But I have to sacrifice this in order to be able to have a career so that I can provide for my child. So, sorry mom, I can't do what you did when I am at your age. I need to get my career on track first.

On the other hand, the dating scene at my college is TERRIBLE. Most of the boys are very nerdy, shy, or immature, or something. The mature ones are mostly already taken. As a woman jaded by the dating system, "where are all of the decent men in the world?" "Why are all of the decent men taken?"

Lolz.

What do you peeps think of this?

Do you have friends who are engaged, married, or are having children, or already have children? And those who got engaged/married/had children in their late teens/early twenties/in college?

What about the dating scene in your colleges/high schools/graduate schools/work/anywhere?

What is your opinion of the ticking biological clock?

Do you know of any women who want to sacrifice their "mommy career" in lieu of a "professional career"? What's your opinion of women becoming like this?

<3

This brought me to tears....

Bubz helped the wish of a girl in Australia come true =D The Make A Wish Foundation granted a little girl named Ellen a wish to meet Bubz. They spent an entire day together having fun and fulfilling Ellen's happiness.

Yay!

I cried after seeing this. I was so happy that Ellen's wish was realized and came true. =D

<3

Stupid mosquito bites!!!

So on Sunday, for the first time in ~1/2 year, it finally rained. For real.

Not some sort of "sunshine rain" or "drizzle" or "a few drops". For real.

I had to go to lab in the terrible 24-hour storm. It was cold. It was dreary. It was wet. But that was okay, compared to...

all of the mosquito bites I got afterward!

You know how when it gets all damp and everything, the mosquitos come out to breed? Well, I've gotten about 17 mosquito bites all over by body ever since this happened. And it sucks. Major time. I always have the problem of wanting to scratch my bites every time I get them. I have this thing which alleviates the itch but it smells terrible (made of camphor). Ai ya....

Anyways, I just gotta tough out this thing. I've gotten so many bites, for example during a trip to the forest for a field trip for a bio lab, I got 98 mosquito bites. Then, during the beginning of the school year, orientation week for freshmen, I got 47 bites! Terrible.

Oh well....

<3

Rain.... + shortcuts

Hey guys,

Wow.... so around 7 AM today, the sky decided to rain for the first time (like, legit rain) in 1/2 year. It's been pouring ever since then. I haven't been really able to sleep, but since we're on term break I guess it's a good season and good reason for having lazy weather. The sky is all gray and cloudy, like we're in Seattle or something. I would have a picture for you all, but unfortunately I'm stuck in lab till the rain dies down and my camera's back in my room. Hopefully pics later.

Since I had to come to lab today, and the rain didn't let up, I basically walked/trudged through ~4 inches of rain water to get to lab. Granted, the lab I work in is only a few minutes away from the dorm, but still, when I got there, it was terrible. I had a tiny umbrella, and you can only imagine what it was like. I was trying to fit all of me, a large purple backpack, and a large white purse under a tiny umbrella, maybe spanning 3 feet in diameter. Kinda difficult.

By the time I got to lab, I was completely SOAKED. I was wearing flip-flops because I didn't think rainboots were necessary (big fail there) and because it is very difficult to navigate in lab with rainboots. Meaning, they'd be hard to take off, and if acid or something were to corrode them it would be terrible. I would change into my sneakers for lab later. My laptop bag (the laptop sleeve that covers my laptop when I carry it around) was soaked, my backpack was soaked, even my lab coat, which was in a plastic bag inside my backpack, was really really wet.

Yikes.

Thankfully my laptop wasn't soaked; THAT would've been really bad.

Anyways, so what I did I do to ameliorate the situation?

There's a blow dryer in the lab bathroom for drying your hands and stuff. So thus, I just took my backpack, my laptop sleeve, my lab coat, etc, and let them cook under it. And hoorah, everything got so dry and warm! My lab coat was soo cozy to wear; it felt like it had just come out of the dryer (which, in fact, it actually did huh?).

So yeah, afterwards, working in lab was nice and cozy. Although afterwards, I need to trudge back to the dorm... ai ya another soaking journey...

<3

Ten random facts....

Here's another random post. 10 random facts about me.

1. I'm really short but actually very proportional. I'm barely above 5 foot, but I have size 6 feet as well. I have tiny wrists, arms, legs as well.

2. I love asian gel pens. The ones with really thin, fine lines and write really finely. It's especially because they are gel pens, and thus don't hurt my hand as much when I write, and at the same time they don't bleed through the page (the American ones tend to do so).

3. I don't look like it, but I eat A LOT. I eat twice, perhaps 3X as much as my best friend (who is a 5' 10'' dude).

4. Instead of buying boba drinks every day at school, I prefer to make my own.

5. I love creating artwork. Drawing, painting, making 3D structures - whatever you name it. Beautiful and fun!

6. I also love creative writing. When I am in certain moods, I can write certain topics. Also it depends on the atmosphere I am in. I have created some very moving pieces of poetry.

7. I am multi-lingual. I can speak, write, understand, etc English, Spanish, and Chinese (although for Chinese I usually have to write by computer). If you stick me in Mexico/Uruguay/Argentina/Spain, I could probably survive.

8. I have very very very smooth, black (brown-black because of natural sunbleaching, I guess) hair. One of my friends loves braiding my hair and playing with it, but she always has trouble braiding because it comes apart so easily. She says it's like "braiding water".

9. I've always had these funny fantasies with animals.

Examples:
a) Ride in the pouch of a kangaroo.
b) Ride the neck of a giraffe
c) Ride a goat at a petting zoo
d) Swim with a sea turtle
e) Swim with a dolphin
f) Ride on the back of a condor in the sky
g) Get surrounded by a flock of Emperor or Adele penguins in Antarctica
h) Catch an angler fish from the Mariana Trench and bring it to the surface and see what happens (perhaps it would explode due to lack of pressure? not really sure)

10. Now for something nerdy: I have a lab coat that I've bleached 3 times, yet the stains still don't come out. I think it's because the chemicals I worked with in lab are impervious to bleach.... yet just about everything comes off with bleach...

That's it!
<3

HPV Vaccine

Hey guys,

http://kirstyne.wordpress.com/2008/02/19/hpv-the-tricky-std/

So a few days I finally decided to get the HPV vaccine. For those of you that do not know, HPV stands for Human Papillomavirus. It is known to cause cervical cancer in women and genital warts in both women and men. Crazy stuff huh?

Anyway, I finally decided to get the first dose, against my parents' advice (they are very wary of vaccines, unlike me, the crazy bio nerd). I thought about it for a long time since I knew that it had just recently come out. Even though in Texas the governor gave an "Executive Order" to have all young women vaccinated using this vaccine (Gardasil), I was still kind of wary. I guess if in Texas, this was important enough, then in my little town it was supposed to be OK too, right?

Thus, I got my first injection. Surprisingly, after I got it, the nurse actually told me to lie down and stay still for 15 min. Apparently the injection caused some people to faint or something within the first 15 min of administration. Wow. I guess that is really something to look at and be wary of. (And I'm being serious here!)

Anyways, I have to get the next shot within 3 mon, and the last one within 6 mon. Afterwards hopefully I'll be fully protected. Hopefully I won't get cervical cancer sometime in the near future?

http://defeatingcolorectalcancer.wordpress.com/
Cancerous cells, although not cervical (is colorectal)

Toodles!

XOXO

Sorry....

Hey guys,

I want to apologize for not updating in a LONG LONG LONG time. I've been extremely, extremely busy with school. The semester just started up again and as a senior I have a honors senior thesis to write and publish by the end of the year. Along with a lot of other capstone courses and my extracurrics and everything, this is has just been CRAZY.

So to make up, I'll (try my best to) post lots of posts with lots of density for these next few weeks. whoo!!!

First updates first. I broke up with my boyfriend ~3 weeks ago. There were a lot of reasons. He was wanting too much from me.... wanted stuff from me that I couldn't give to him. It was a difference in beliefs and values. He wanted things that I couldn't provide, and I wanted things that he wasn't willing to give. So we parted ways. Or rather, I said goodbye to him.

And now I am very very very glad that episode of my life is over. VERY GLAD.

http://images.fastcompany.com/upload/happiness_bulldogdrummond.jpg
SOOO HAPPY!

Next. I moved back onto campus and this time have a new room setup. I bought some new furniture (new mirror, bookstand, suitcases, boxes, etc). Enough with the boring stuff. I also got a new laptop cooler. I tried making some videos using my webcam on my computer but basically the entire time my voice was cut off by the laptop's fan RUNNING AND RUNNING AND RUNNING. Seriously it sounded like I was on an airplane flight or something with the airplane's turbines right next to me. Seriously. Terrible.

http://www.amazon.com/Laptop-Notebook-Cool-Pad-Fans/dp/B001B077PO/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1316728973&sr=8-1

This was the laptop cooler I got. Isn't it cool??? It's got LED lights and everything. And with Amazon Prime (Amazon student prime) it cost only $4.89. Great deal for a pretty thing that helps so much.

Next. I ordered a Harry Potter scarf and beanie for the winter. Now, down in this part of the south you usually don't wear these things unless if it's the dead middle of winter. Which is for about 2-3 months at most each year. Which thus means that these aren't very efficient. But I AM A DIE-HARD HARRY POTTER FAN. Seriously. I wasn't able to sign up for Pottermore (I didn't want to wake up at 6 or 7 AM everyday to do it) but I basically know all of the trivia facts, own all of the books, both hardcover and ebook and softcover, have the posters, everything. About time I got some more memorabilia.

http://www.amazon.com/Harry-Potter-Gryffindor-House-Purple/dp/B0006GYLOE/ref=sr_1_1?s=electronics&ie=UTF8&qid=1316729147&sr=1-1

http://www.amazon.com/Elope-LU2365-Gryffindor-House-Beanie/dp/B000XEVDTK/ref=sr_1_1?s=electronics&ie=UTF8&qid=1316729176&sr=1-1

Aren't they lovely?

Anyways, that's all for this post. Just some miscellaneous updates on my crazy college life. Toodles!!!