Acne treatments

/ Monday, February 28, 2011 /
Hi guys and gals,

So first, I have a little story to tell ya'll. In some of my earlier posts, i have written about how I used to have a lot of acne. Well, let me tell you this: I have tried just about EVERYTHING to get rid of it. I'm somewhat successful right now (uh oh, better not jinx it by writing this) but trust me, it was a very, VERY painful process. I went through lots of phases of losing self-confidence, being self-conscious, shy, embarrassed, etc by my face as a result of acne vulgaris (scientific term, so italicized).

So I decided today that I would do a post on my journey in the struggle against acne vulgaris. I promise you I'll try my best not to bother ya'll with scientific terminology, etc - I know that people are easily bored by textbooks and don't want that for everyone. I'm going to go through all of the products, methods, etc that I've tried and give you my honest opinions and evaluations on them. This journey goes from the beginning of my acne journey in the 7th grade all the way to present day. So here we go!

When I first started getting a ton of acne, my mother picked up a little sample of Shiseido at a departmental store. It was:

1. Shiseido Pureness Deep Cleansing Foam (Sample, so free)

Shiseido - Pureness Deep Cleansing Foam
Source


This product actually was pretty good. You rub a little bit of it on your face and wash it off. It cleared up my acne for awhile, but then I started breaking out again after I took a trip to Shanghai to visit my relatives. I felt embarrassed to show my cousins how scarred my face was. It was kind of sad.

Later, during my early years in HS, I went to Target and got some advice from a very nice, pretty pharmacist. She advised me to get:

2. St. Ives Apricot Scrub, $4
Source


and:
3. Neutrogena Oil-Free Face Moisturizer, Sensitive Skin, $10
Source


The St. Ives product worked for the first few days, but then it felt really abrasive on my skin. I felt as if my skin was constantly being scratched raw, and I was getting breakouts again. The moisturizer made my skin feel really really good, but at the same time it wasn't exactly counteracting the effects of the St Ives scrub.

I went through some other products as well, through the help of my mom. (She loves using high-end products,  but I personally prefer low-end products, being a poor college student and all XD)

4. Burt's Bees Soap Bark and Chamomile Deep Cleansing Cream, $8
Soap Bark and Chamomile Deep Cleansing Creme - Facial Creme - Burt's Bees
Source


I've got to say that this product stung my face. It was really, I guess, it felt like I was putting on camphor on my face, or toothpaste, for the matter, without the smell. I guess it did work, but I felt like I was really hurting my skin every time I used it. Not so helpful.

5. Peach and Willowbark Deep Pore Scrub, $8

Peach and Willowbark Deep Pore Facial Scrub - Burt's Bees
Source


This kind of worked like the St. Ives, but not as well; in fact, it clogged my pores and made my skin feel raw at the same time. Double mad deal. Not so cool.

So I kept on suffering through an acne-prone face throughout all of HS. Then, I came to college, and started trying out random things on my own...

6. Clean & Clear Morning Burst, $11
Clean & Clear  Morning Burst  Facial Cleanser Cleansers 8 fl oz, 2pk
Source


This product didn't do so well for me. It kinda made me break out even more, in fact. Sucks to waste $11.

7. Cetaphil Daily Facial Cleanser
Cetaphil For Normal to Oily Skin Daily Facial Cleanser 16 Fl Oz
Source

My little brother actually uses this (she has even more acne than me! oh my goodness). It's ok, I guess, for her, especially since her acne is actually worse than mine (she has a ton of scarring on her face, poor thing for a young 13-year old!) It works ok on me, gets the oil off my face, but doesn't have any salicylic acid or anything.

8. Neutrogena Facial Cleanser, Deep Clean, $6
Neutrogena(R) Facial Cleanser Normal to Oily Skin Deep Clean(R) 6.7 Oz
Source
 

This product worked all right; it actually cleared up my face pretty well. However, there was one side effect - it kept on making my face red, which sucked. You have a face that is acne-cleared, but red as a cherry! Doesn't that suck?

9. Clean & Clear Finishes Pore Perfecting Cleanser, $7
Clean & Clear Finishes Pore Perfecting Cleanser, 8 fl oz
Source


My brother actually used this product as well. I feel like it did not work well at all. It was a creamy cleanser, and made my skin feel really oily afterwards. No salicylic acid, benzyl peroxide, or anything sweet like that. It kinda sucked since you only needed a little product each time, and so the bottle took an entire year to finish! And that was with the two of us using it together. Lolz. (I used it during the holidays when I came home; my sis used it during the school year when I wasn't home).

10. Neutrogena Oil-Eliminating Astringent, Clear Pore, $6
Neutrogena  Oil-Eliminating Astringent Clear Pore 8 fl oz, 2pk
Source
 

Although I know that this wasn't supposed to be used on its own, I still used it by itself because I so wanted to attack my acne at the time. Bad idea. This thing really, really, really stings my skin. It hurt it even more than the scrubs scrubbed my face raw. Do not use this product by itself - always combine it with some kind of moisturizer immediately afterwards. Oh my goodness, I hope never to have to buy this product again...

11. Purpose Gentle Cleansing Wash, $6
Purpose  Gentle Cleansing Wash Pump Cleansers 6 fl oz, 2pk
Source


This product actually worked, like the Cetaphil, only it was cheaper. No salicylic acid or anything fancy like that though.

12. Neutrogena Foaming Pink Grapefruit Scrub, $8
Neutrogena Foaming Scrub, Pink Grapefruit Oil-Free Acne Wash, 4.2 fl oz
Source

This product does work pretty well, especially for a scrub. It was the first scrub that actually didn't scrape my face raw! I didn't use it very often though; I realized that you are only supposed to exfoliate your face 1-2X/week rather than every day. This definitely works, and has 2% salicylic acid as well!

13. Neutrogena Alcohol-Free Toner Cleansing, $7
Neutrogena Alcohol-Free Toner Cleansing 8.5 oz
Source

This product is a very, very mild toner. It refreshes my face pretty well, and it lasted me a long time. I ended up mixing it with baby oil to create a full makeup remover - it works well as makeup remover as well!

14. Neutrogena Vanishing Cream Formula, On-The-Spot, $7

Neutrogena  Vanishing Cream Formula On-The-Spot  .75 oz, 2pk
Source


This, in my opinion, doesn't actually work very well. It doesn't really get rid of any spots of acne for me. Oh well, waste of money.

15. Neutrogena acne Treatment Oil-Free Acne Wash, 2% Salicylic Acid, $7
Neutrogena Acne Treatment Oil-Free Acne Wash 9.5 fl oz, 2pk
Source


I Absolutely LOVE this product! This has got to be my favorite wash of all time. It doesn't make my face very red, gets rid of my acne, and is very relieving and soothing, and is a gel wash (I love gels). Totally worth the buy.

16. Biore Steam Activated Cleanser, $8
steam activated cleanser
Source

Very good - acts like the Purpose and Cetaphil washes, but works better. Thank goodness! No salicylic acid or benzyl peroxide though...

17. Neutrogena Sore Pimple Gel, $11
Source

This thing burns your skin, and peels and flakes off. It seriously sucks. Waste of your money. Doesn't work so well - even worse than the vanishing cream, despipte having 2% salicylic acid. Do not like...

18. Neutrogena Triple-Action Toner, $7
Source


This product has alcohol in it, and is very severe, but it gets the job done, and is not as harsh as the Clear Pore Astringent. Good investment, and lasts a long long time. Pretty cool!

19. Dermalogica Clearing Skin Wash, $33

Source


This thing was INCREDIBLY expensive! It is a gel cleanser, and my mom got it for me, so I guess I can't complain there. It is a 0.5% salicylic acid concoction, no doubts there, and you only need a pea-size each time, so it lasts forever. I think the strength of the salicylic acid is too weak for my face - if it were stronger, I think it might work well for my face, but it doesn't work as well as the Biore Steam Cleanser. So much $$ invested in this!

20. Noxzema Clean Blemish Control Daily Scrub, $8
Source


1% Salicylic acid. It does a good job, much gentler than the St. Ives and the Burt's Bees scrubs, and almost as good as the Neutrogena Grapefruit Scrub, but I only use it once a week, so that my face doesn't get scraped raw constantly by it again and again.

21. Clearasil StayClear Daily Face Wash, $7
Clearasil Stayclear Daily Face Wash
Source

This product works like the Purpose and Cetaphil cleansers, works, but doesn't have salicylic acid or benzyl peroxide. Period. Nuff' said.

22. PanOxyl 10% Benzyl Peroxide, Acne Foaming Wash, $11
Source


This wash actually does work, and currently my brother uses it. It is the strongest concentration of benzyl peroxide wash currently out on the OTC market (usually benzyl peroxide concentrations run at 2.5%, 5%, and 10%), and so far, it does seem to work, but I'm kind of afraid that it's too strong for my skin. But my brother loves it, and if she loves it, I have no problem with that - the even better for her =D

23. Jergens Sensitive Skin Relief, $6
Source


This lotion does work for the face, and is hypo-allergenic, but I don't think it's the best product out there. There is a lot that you get with this, though - a bottle lasts me almost an entire year, compared to the Neutrogena Oil-free Moisturizer, which each cost $11 and lasted me only ~2 months. So, thus, is cost-effective, but is definitely not the best one out there. Currently, though, I don't think this is being sold out on the market anymore, at least in any stores I've been to recently (Wal-Mart, Target, Kroger's, etc). Perhaps it was not doing so hot on sales?

24. Estee Lauder DayWear Plus SPF 15, $60
Estee Lauder - Daywear Plus Lotion SPF15  50ml/1.7oz
Source

This product was INCREDIBLY expensive, but my mother bought it for me as a gift (she is really helpful to me and my brother on our journey to good skin! really kind of her), so I cannot say that I shelled out the dough for it. This product is REALLY, REALLY good. It gives my face a bit of a shine, as if I had worn a bronzer or something, protects my skin, and is non-comedogenic at the same time. And it leaves my skin feeling really, really refreshed at the same time. Really like it. Too bad it costs so much money...

25. Clinique Moisture Surge Extended Thirst Relief, $50
Clinique - Moisture Surge Extended Thirst Relief
Source

This product is REALLY REALLY good. It allows your skin to suck up all of the moisture, leaving it feeling incredibly refreshed and refined. Of course, the downside to it is the cost. What I could do with $50 - all of the meals, coffee, and other necessities that a poor college student (or anyone, for the matter) needs. Gift from mom, thank you mommy dearest. It lasts you quite awhile, considering the size of the product (2.5 oz) - lasted me ~3 months, compared to the Neutrogena Oil-Free Moisturizer, ~2 months.

Here are some products I recently purchased, and will try out soon (more reviews later):
A. Clean & Clear Pore Perfecting Moisturizer, SPF 15, $7
Clean & Clear Pore Perfecting Moisturizer SPF 15, 1.7 oz
Source

B. Clean & Clear Foaming Cleanser, $5
Source


Can you guyys believe it? I went through over 25 products from the 8th grade to now. In fact, there's a lot more, but I couldn't find the links to them or forgot their names or something. I just listed the ones that stuck out the most prominently in my head. I hope this review/journey/history was useful in at least some way to ya'll. Believe me, I know, totally empathize with, the pains that acne gives a person. It really sucks when you get acne. It can change your life in so many ways, and often times for the worse.

Currently, my facial regiment is (I put this in an earlier post, but will revisit right now just in case for ya'll):
Morning:
1. Biore Facial Steaming Cleanser
2. Estee Lauder Daywear SPF 15
3. Clinique All About Eyes eye cream
4. Neutrogena Vanishing Cream spot treatment

Night:
1. Biore Facial Steaming Cleanser or Dermalogica Clearing Facial Wash
OR Noxema or St Ives scrub (1-2X/week)
2. Jergens Sensitive Skin Lotion
3. Neutrogena Sore Pimple Spot Treatment or Neutrogena Vanishing Cream spot treatment

So here ya'll go! Hope you guys will have success on your fight against acne!

Makeup remover

/ /
You've had your beautiful makeup on for an entire day, and now you want to go to bed. Before you go to bed though, you have to undo the beautiful artwork you've painted on your face. How to do this? How to remove makeup? I actually have several methods to do so, that are cheap, effective, and fast. Today, I will go over each of these techniques, their pros/cons, cost factors, etc.

1. Baby oil
Pros: Very cheap, effective, can remove waterproof makeup, fast
Cons: kinda hard to clean up afterwards (remove the oil)

2. Olive oil
Pros: Very cheap, effective, can remove waterproof makeup, fast, olive oil is also good for your skin, non-comedogenic
Cons: Olive oil is slightly more expensive than baby oil (at least where I'm from), kinda hard to clean up afterwards (remove the oil)

3. Vaseline petroleum jelly
Pros: Very cheap, effective, can remove waterproof makeup, fast, moisturizes your face/eyes
Cons: Pretty hard to clean up afterwards (remove the jelly - so thick), comedogenic

4. Baby wipes
Pros: Very cheap, effective, refreshes your face, easy to clean up afterwards
Cons: Can cause breakouts for certain skin types, can't remove waterproof makeup, stings my eyes (personal experience)

5. Facial cleanser
Pros: Effective, refreshes your face, easy to clean up afterwards
Cons: Doesn't get all of the makeup off (at least waterproof makeup); I feel like I have to use oil or something else afterwards to get everything off, so that's pretty redundant, since I have to get the oil off my face afterwards.

So yeah, these are some very cost-effective methods that are actually really good at removing makeup. I see makeup remover being sold in stores all the time, and they are so expensive! These methods are much, much cheaper - trust me. It's totally worth it to try at least one of these techniques. Even if you don't ever want to use baby wipes after trying it once for your face, you can still use them to clean up tables, wipe things down, etc - they are so useful! And olive oil is always good for cooking, hair masks, etc (tutorials on hair masks later)! Such versatile ingredients/methods =D

Have fun trying these methods!

<3, chynagrl

Eye pencil sharpener?

/ /
1.There's an interesting, rather inexpensive tool that I've always found perplexing. I'm perplexed not as to how it's used, or why it's used, but rather, why it's sold the way that it's sold in.


Why would anyone market an eyeliner pencil sharpener the way that it is marketed in?


I went on shopping.google.com today and found these deals for the pencil sharpeners. All images are from shopping.google.com.



1. DuWop Beauty Blade, Antibacterial Dual Eye and Lip Pencil Sharpener

large image
Price: $13.99!!!!!

Beautique Dual Point <em>Eye</em> / Lip <em>Pencil Sharpener</em> 
Price: $2.99!!!

M·A·C <em>Pencil Sharpener</em>/Small
Price: $6.00!!!!

Even one of my fave brands, Estee Lauder, has a pencil sharpener that is kinda pricey:
Estée Lauder <em>Pencil Sharpener</em>,
Price: $6.00!!!

I seriously don't understand the point of buying one of these, even the most inexpensive one:
Clinique Lip & <em>Eye Pencil Sharpener</em> NO COLOR One Size
Price: $1

I got a normal, plastic pencil sharpener exclusively for my eye pencils. It was originally meant for #2 pencils we use to write with and stuff, but instead I gave it an alternate purpose: for my eye pencils. It works just fine. And guess what? I got it for 5 cents. Wow. Seriously.

So, even though I know that these sharpeners listed above ARE much cheaper than just about any other makeup product you can find, one can probably save more by using just a normal, plain pencil sharpener for normal #2 pencils. Heck, my little sister just got one of them in a birthday party goody bag the other day for free. Why not use something as cheap as that?

Much <3, chynagrl

Comparison of eye primers

/ /
Eye primers have always been a pain for me. When I first started wearing makeup, I didn't even know what a primer was. I just slathered on random shades of eyeshadow on my eyelids, and let me tell you, I looked absolutely like a clown. Now, not like a clown from the circus or something, but seriously, a wannabe clown.

Then, a few years ago, one of my friends told me that I should start wearing concealer on my eyes. She said this because she felt that every time I wore eyeshadow I looked like I had a black eye, or was a panda (she called it "panda eyes"). So I went to the store to get some Neutrogena liquid concealer, which worked for awhile, until I finished it....

It was during this time that I noticed that if I put on concealer before my eyeshadow on my eyelids (I used concealer not only to conceal my dark circles but also on top of my lids) the eyeshadow would stick to my eyes better and last longer throughout the day. Wow, what a revelation it was to me back then, a wannabe clown! This was before I had discovered all of the youtube tutorials, reviews, blogs, etc.

But anyways, long story short, I tried many different things for eye primers. Now, I'm going to compare products that I've used for eye primers and review them for their worth, uses, price, etc. Here we go!

1. ELF Eyelid primer
Eyelid Primer http://www.eyeslipsface.com/elf/eyes/concealers_and_primers/eyelid_primer

This primer is pretty good. It's very sheer, slightly oily, and does the job. Price = $1, off of the website.

2. Maybelline Dream Mousse Concealer
 http://www.buzzillions.com/reviews/maybelline-dream-mousse-concealer-corrector-fair-light-0-1-11-oz-reviews

This product does a fair job of being a primer. It's not shimmery and does a fine job of making your eyeshadows more matte colored. I think I chose the wrong shade of concealer for my skin though (I chose the lightest shade, and I think I should've chosen the medium color perhaps since my skin is slightly darker than the lightest shade). This cost me ~$8, so more expensive than the ELF eyelid primer, but it also doubles/triples as a concealer as well as a highlighter for my face. So 3-in-1 use is awesome! Great deal! The only thing I'm sad about is that this product is discontinued. And I'm halfway through using it :(

3. ELF Shimmer Palette
Shimmer Palette http://www.eyeslipsface.com/studio/eyes/eyeshadow/shimmer_palette

I was REALLY surprised that this could act as a primer. It does it's job nicely as a shimmery primer - after all, it's called the "Shimmer Palette". I really like using the peach color (second from the left) and the skin-color (second from the right) as primers; they really blend well into my skin, save for the shimmer. This cost me $3 from the ELF website - really great buy. Great for nights out!

So yeah, that's my two cents on eye primers. There are lots of good alternatives to Urban Decay Primer Potion; you don't have to spend $18 for something like this! So give these a try!

Major ELF haul + reviews

/ Sunday, February 27, 2011 /
Hi guys and gals!

I got a new haul from ELF today, hooray! I'm opening up the neat little packages one by one and am going to review them all for ya'll =D Afterwards, I'll put up another review for all of the other stuff I got earlier this week just for kicks.

1. ELF Mineral 5 Piece Brush Set
 http://www.eyeslipsface.com/minerals/gifts/eco-friendly-naturalists/5_piece_bamboo_brush_set

These brushes are really, really nice. In an earlier haul, I ordered just a full-size All-Over Eyeshadow Brush. I absolutely fell in love with it. I liked it so much that I decided to get a full set of 5 brushes. This set includes:
1. Complexion brush - I don't really use this since I don't put on blush or foundation (only eye makeup).
2. Eyeliner brush - I have another eyeliner brush that I'm currently using from Estee Lauder, but this one is very comparable to it!
3. Concealer brush - I like using this to put on my highlighting eyeshadow.
4. All-over eyeshadow brush - Once again, my love. I love using this for my eyeshadows - after all, that's why it's called an "eyeshadow" brush!
5. Lash & Brow comb - I have another one that's from Estee Lauder, but this one I think is actually better. My Estee Lauder brush is actually bent out of shape and is ~5 years old, but I hardly use it, so I guess it doesn't really matter, but lately I've been using mascara again (for the first time in years! since upperclassman years in HS I think) I think I might try this brush, especially since my Estee Lauder brush is kinda messed up.
6. Bag (hemp + cotton)

Keep in mind that these brushes are NOT the actual full-size ones you would get if you got them each individually. I have very small hands, though, so I guess it doesn't really matter. After all, I got this whole kit for $15, and if I were to get each brush individually, it would be $25, not to mention the bag, which I don't think is sold separately (at least to my knowledge). Thus, I think this is a GREAT bargain!

Also, about the brushes, these brushes are REALLY REALLY soft and fluffy. They have great coverage and are easily washable. I'll include a tutorial on how to wash brushes later, no worries. And of course, these brushes are eco-friendly and made of taklon and bamboo, so totally good for the environment! Be green!

2. Zit zapper
 http://www.eyeslipsface.com/elf/face/cleansers/zit_zapper

I have very, very acne prone skin. It's so sad. I'm supposed to be finally past that stage of life where you get your breakouts and then are finally over them, but I STILL get them all the time. It's so annoying and sad too. Acne can really really damage your self-confidence - growing up, I hated getting acne. I felt like a virtual endless pimple machine. It was really sad. I haven't tried this out, but I got it because of all of the rave reviews about it. I'll post a review on all of the acne stuff that I have later as well and how all of the products I've tried/used have worked out. I'm pretty hopeful about this one =D

3. Eyelid primer
Eyelid Primer http://www.eyeslipsface.com/elf/eyes/concealers_and_primers/eyelid_primer

There was actually an actual "eyeshadow primer" from the Minerals Line that cost $3, but I read some reviews about it, and it seemed like these two products actually did the same thing, plus this product apparently has more "product" to it (ounce-wise) than the other, so I decided to get it. It's only $1!!! I tried it, and it really is pretty good. I've read reviews everywhere, and EVERYONE seems to rave about Urban Decay's Primer Potion. I would love to get it, but alas, I am a poor college student, and cannot afford any of this stuff. Thus, I get the cheapest alternative that, while may not be as good, will still get the job done. Hence this.

4. Mango Madness Nail Polish
 http://queenofturquoise.blogspot.com/2010_09_01_archive.html

All nail polishes from ELF are $1 each. What a bargain, just like Wet N' Wild's! when I got this, it was actually labeled as "Rosy Raisin", which puzzled me, until I saw on the order notice that they were actually mislabeled. The actual color is actually darker than the picture shown above, but still, I think it's really pretty. I like it!

5. Glitter Glam Nail Polish
http://www.stylefind.com/E-L-F-Cosmetics/-/5-ELFC-1574/E-L-F-Essentials-Nail-Polish-In-Glitter-Glam

Once again, only $1. This was really really pretty, seriously. I really like it. I think all of the ELF nail polishes area really nice. A good buy.

6. Mini Glitter Makeup Collection
 http://www.eyeslipsface.com/studio/sets-and-palettes/palettes/mini_makeup_collection

I was kinda disappointed by this, especially because when I got it one of the eyeshadows was actually smashed up completely into pieces. Yes, I know, it was the shipping's fault, but I wish that ELF had packed the package more tightly at the warehouse so that I would get an intact product. Oh Well, at least the glitters are still pretty, and the rest of the case was intact. It cost me a total of $15, the same price as the mineral brushes set. We'll see how it goes!

6. Nouveau Neutrals Brightening Eye Color Quad

http://beautyshinesfromwithin.blogspot.com/2010/11/review-all-elf-quads-long-post.html

I would've put up ELF's official picture for it, but it's really really misleading.
Here's the original picture from the ELF website:
 http://www.eyeslipsface.com/elf/eyes/eyeshadow/brightening_eye_color

Compare the two pictures again. They are completely different! The shade second to the left is actually a coniferous green color (at least in my eyes), and is really pretty. I like doing a green-neutral eye with this quad, but if you want to get ANY serious color, you HAVE to put on a ton of powder. You have to pack on a lot. And also, these do not have much staying power - they fade after 3-4 hours, which kinda sucks, even with eye primer and stuff on. Oh well, I guess that's what I have to deal with since I am on a (sucky) budget, and this was free after all (it came with the package as a free gift) so I should not complain XD

So that's the end of my ELF haul. I'll post more reviews, tutorials, etc later! See ya'll!

Marriage

/ Sunday, February 20, 2011 /
This is such a beautiful, touching story. For all people who are in a relationship, or will be in a relationship, want to be in a relationship, etc - in any kind of romantic relationship, regardless of gender/sex - this story is meant for you.


This was taken from http://bubbiosity.tumblr.com/ (BubzBeauty's Tumblr site). It was originally written by Stephanie Halmilton.


MARRIAGE

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.

She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside
the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.

Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.
My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.— At least, in the eyes of our son—- I’m a loving husband….

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you.

If you do, you just might save a marriage.
Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.

A CHRIST-CENTERED MARRIAGE IS A MARRIAGE THAT IS SURE TO LAST A LIFETIME.

So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate. Matthew 19:6.

By Stephanie Halmilton

Drugstore Mini-Haul!

/ /
So yesterday I went to Walgreens to get some stuff. I was actually going to get a vaccination at the doctor's office, and I had some time afterwards, and right next door was a Walgreens. I thought, since I was available, why not get something there, and go scouting?

By the way guys, I'm writing this at around 3 AM, so I apologize if I sound kinda incoherent...

Here's what I got, and their reviews:
1. Mirror (small, hand-held)
 http://www.alibaba.com/product-gs/344375537/handheld_mirror.html

I've always wanted a little mirror that I could look close-up into in order to see what I was doing while I was putting on makeup and stuff. There is a mirror on my wardrobe door but it's kinda high for me (I'm so short, barely 5 foot!) so I wanted something that I could sit down with to use. So voila!

2. Wet N' Wild Wild Shine nail color: bijou blue
 http://www.walgreens.com/store/c/wet-n-wild-wild-shine-nail-color/ID=prod1501254-product

I really wanted a pretty blue nail polish, since my Estee Lauder blue one was completely spilled and used up (so sad, it was so pretty and expensive too!) This was only $1, so seriously a good deal, just like the ELF nail polishes. I'm waiting to try it out, but I bet it's gonna be good.

3. Wet N' Wild Coloricon Dark Brown eyeliner
Wet n Wild Kohl Brow Eyeliner Dark Brown .04oz. http://products.ebates.com/wet_n_wild_kohl_brow_eyeliner_dark_brown_04oz_10612117.php

I had really wanted to buy one of these, especially since I heard that it was good for softer eye colors. Once again, only $1, so a great buy. I was really pleased with the other colored liner that I bought from Wet N' Wild (white) that I decided to try this one out as well. Hopefully it'll be good!

4. CoverGirl LashBlast length water-resistant mascara

 http://auctions.findtarget.com/detail_product/300523219428/covergirl_lash_blast_mascara/

I have ALWAYS been scared about mascara. Growing up, my mother had always bought my makeup for me, and even though she really liked high-end, departmental products (Estee Lauder, Lancome, Clinique, etc)  the one thing that I could never use properly was the mascara she got. She always got the washable ones, and the wands kept on clumping, and the bristles were too big, the mascara would smudge, and everything would be a mess. I absolutely HATED using it. It also felt too heavy, lumpy, etc - all of the problems you could imagine with using mascara.

Just a few hours before going to Walgreens, I decided to do a lot of research to find the best one for me, not the most expensive one or anything. After looking through TONS, literally TONS, of websites (meaning, going through the first 10+ pages of search results on google for how to choose mascara, mascara reviews and stuff) I happened upon this type. Since I have short Asian lashes, it really really mattered to me that the mascara I get would give me length. Length takes the number one importance on my list of priorities for mascara. I found that this product had rave reviews - no clumping, light-weight, waterproof, all that bundled into one. I decided to get one to try it out. I took a chance.

Results? BEAUTIFUL! The reviews are really pretty accurate. .It does not clump, and it really lengths my lashes, as well as maintains a pretty natural look. I really like natural looks, so this was perfect. I'm really happy I got this, and hope that it will continue to work like this. It's kinda ironic how this type of mascara could be more effective and cheaper than the highly-extolled departmental store brands...

5. CoverGirl Lashblast Volume Waterproof Mascara
 
http://www.covergirl.ca/en_ca/beauty_products/mascara/lashblast_waterproof_mascara/

I also got this one as well because I found rave reviews on it. The only thing that concerns me is that the handle for the tube's wand is so thick and big and chunky. I wish it were thinner like the LashBlast Length's - it would make handling the tube a lot easier. I haven't tried it out, but when I do I will surely do a review!

Anyways that's it. Hopefully the products will last and serve me well for quite awhile. So we'll see - stay in touch!

Finally over cold!

/ Thursday, February 17, 2011 /
I just got over a giant cold (1.5 weeks long) and feel sooo much better now. PTL! It sucked while I was sick.

Here is a presentation of the journey (+ reviews of the products I used):

Symptoms: Headache, stuffy nose, incessant coughing, chest hurting, ears throbbing and popping (or muted), sinuses clogged, lymph nodes swollen, lethargy, torpor, pale/yellowish skin color. Ugh. That was so bad....

My regiment? This was crazy...

1. Theraflu
Image cred: http://www.whosaidnothinginlifeisfree.com/2009/02/free-theraflu-warming-relief-at/

This tastes ABSOLUTELY TERRIBLE. You have to drink ~2 tablespoons for a full dose, and I had to keep on flushing down the terrible taste with tons of water. Ugh.

2. When the Theraflu was finished, Dayquil:
http://twentysomethingreview.blogspot.com/2011/01/review-33-roundup-of-remedies.html

Not as bad tasting, but still tasted pretty bad. Washed down w/ lots of water.

3. To KO myself at night:
http://www.select2gether.com/vicks-dayquil-cold-&-flu-multi-symptom-relief-non-drowsy-6-oz-detail-5530016

Had a cherry taste, so better than theraflu, but still had to wash down with water...

4. Cough drops

5. Vit C supplements

6. Tissues! I must've used up 2 boxes of these. Crazy things....
 http://www.thebuttercompartment.com/?m=200811

Hurt my nose after awhile. My nose got all raw and everything, and it hurt to blow my nose :(

7. Vicks Vaporub
 http://vicks-vaporub.the-balm.com/

To counteract how tissues were scraping my skin raw. It was really nice and relieving. Smelled good too.

8. Lysol spray (for disinfectant)

 http://hopkins.typepad.com/2012ksas/2009/05/index.html

Smelled bad, of course, but necessary.

I seriously must've spent at least $40 on this stuff. Why do I keep on spending so much $$? Anyways I still have most of my Dayquil and some Nyquil left over, as well as the vaporub, lysol, etc left. I used like 90 cough drops and vit c supplements, till literally my throat burned. It really really really sucked. Ugh.

The good thing is that now I'm finally over it - yay!!! And also the weather's finally cleared up, it's nice and sunny all the time, no more crazy snow warnings and stuff. I get to wear all of the pretty sundresses I bought over break! Of course, with a cardigan too...

Anyways that's all I have for now. I feel so much better! Yahoo!!!


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