Dating scene in college....?

/ Thursday, April 7, 2011 /
Hi guys,

This post is going to be different from other posts I've done; it's going to be more.... personal, I guess, in a way, not (really) beauty-related, more about life.

From what you guys have gathered from my previous posts, you can probably tell I'm a college student. Yes, I'm a college student, and I'm a double-majoring pre-med at what many people would classify to be a pretty prestigious university. My grades are all right (my GPA is above a 3.8), I live in a dorm, I've finished most of my pre-med requirements and stuff, and I'm pretty much) squared away for med school.

So, now onto the stuff in my personal life. The dating scene at my college... basically sucks. Usually, I would describe the dating scene at any school to be a continuum:

Hook-ups              Casual Dating               Exclusive Dating         Engaged         Married

Now, some people might think this scale is silly, but this is basically what it's like in my mind. Different schools have different styles. At my college, it's mostly one of the extremes; people either go to random parties to find others to hook up with, or others are exclusively, steadily dating, in very serious relationships, and I have quite a few friends that are engaged, getting married soon (congratulations! I'm going to their weddings soon).

Where does that leave for people who want to try to get into the dating scene, and dislike hook-ups? Not really anything.

Personally, I don't like hook-ups. I want emotional commitment, I don't do hook-ups, that sort of thing. Then again, I'm barely in my 20s, and I don't want to get engaged/married, especially since I have all of med school, residency, fellowship, etc to do that. I want just some dating or something in-between. Unfortunately, that kind-of doesn't happen that often at my school. People are always incredibly busy, have tons of tests and stuff, and that doesn't leave time for extra stuff like this. I dated a guy at the beginning of this semester, and unfortunately, it didn't work out. I have this construct in my head of what guys and girls look for; predominately, guys look for the physical aspect (at least in the beginning), girls look for the emotional aspect, and gradually, for a relationship to work, it needs to come through to a nice happy medium in the middle.

Unfortunately, that didn't happen in my case. I wanted my (ex-) dude to be more emotionally committed; he (at least in my opinion) wanted body. I couldn't give (that much) to him, at least as of that time. It was really sad, but the break-up was mutual. We felt like it couldn't work out. So I'm back to square one....

What do you guys/gals look for in a relationship? Do college relationships truly work out? What qualities do you look for in a guy/girl? Do you think the continuum on relationships that I posted above is legit, or real?

Oh yeah, btw, one of my friends and underclassman that I counsel (I'm a counselor as well) showed me this link about guys and girls' thoughts on dating, relationships; it's called ladder theory (the link below will describe it better than I can):

Do you guys/gals think the ladder theory is correct? At least for the general population?

All right, this was a pretty serious post, now time to get back to classes.

<3, chynagrl


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