So thus, during this tropical storm (it's raining like crazy outside), I've decided to make this list of my insecurities. Some people may say that I'm a survivor, or that I have a lot of great attributes, etc, but in reality there are a lot of things that make me extremely human and weak.
- Height - I'm super short! I'm 5' 2''. Even petite clothing purchased in stores has to be hemmed to fit properly. It's really sad actually - lots of money/time wasted from either going to a tailor or me doing it myself. I don't like sitting behind tall peeps in movie theatres, it's hard to reach places, etc. I look like a midget.
- Scars - I have a ton of scars from my countless knee surgeries. I hate going to the beach because of these scars. These scars will probably never heal completely. They look gross!
- Insomnia - easily a problem for many peeps. Stress can really get to a person.
- Weight - this is something that's bothered me since the 2nd grade. I ballooned during high school and freshman 15. Afterward, during college and med school, I definitely lost weight. But to this day, I still have these thoughts, need to remind myself to watch my diet, etc.
- Ability to multitask - I can probably do 3 or more things at once. But in the hospital, often times you have to do 5 or 7 things at the same time - talking on the phone, typing things onto the computer, listening to conversations in the background of the team rooms, figuring out and typing in computer orders, writing, etc. It's really difficult to do this. I've trained myself to do several things at once - e.g. have casual conversations whilst typing or doing chores, but other than this it's really difficult, especially with things that are more brain-intensive.
So there you go. I'm not perfect. I'm a person with lots of flaws. I've failed and messed up, tripped and become broken along these years. I work hard and try to improve myself every day. I just hope it's enough.
