Showing posts with label College. Show all posts
Showing posts with label College. Show all posts

My diet, exercise, and weight story

/ Monday, October 27, 2014 /






Several people have asked me to write a post about this topic. I had waited for a long time for multiple reasons (not having enough time, being super sick, etc) but here is the long-awaited post.

Throughout most of high school I was overweight. As hard as that may seem to be believed (especially for petite Asians such as myself, or at least so-goes the stereotype) it is true. I wasn't allowed to drink coffee (for all of those parents out there - it does NOT stunt growth!) and so to stay up I would eat lots of chocolate. I ate a ton of my brother's Halloween chocolate and it was delicious, but ultimately not good. I was super stressed in school with 7 AP classes, running extracurricular clubs, and everything that I forgot to take care of myself. My parents didn't have time to go to grocery stores to buy homemade/healthy ingredients for lunches, so I had to resort to very unhealthy, greasy school lunches. Also, I didn't have time to exercise, hence the weight gain.



The summer after college, I somehow started not caring about food anymore. I went on a cucumbers-and-milk diet and lost about 15 pounds. I spent the entire summer (apart from a month of vacation) cleaning out my parents' house, and that took a TON of effort and consumed a lot of calories. Yay!

Afterward I entered college. I started exercising a lot, running several 5Ks and getting into breakdancing. I started taking a lot of dance classes and yoga classes, and my health improved quite a bit. I definitely struggled in terms of weight with the unlimited cafeteria options offered by my college, and did gain freshman 15. However, I lost it, and then some more after that.

Thus entered medical school. By this time, I had undergone several surgeries, and after each one of them, the natural lack of appetite and strenuous physical therapy made me both lose a LOT of weight as well as atrophy my muscles. I had lost, from high school till this point, a net of 30 pounds. And believe me - for a person who is 5' 2'', that's a LOT.



I started medical school afterward. I gained back about 10 pounds, but this time it was mostly healthy muscle. I started working out again (when I had time), but this time, instead of dance and running, it was yoga, pilates, Zumba, and the like. A lot better. Now, I exercise about 3-4 times a week, and try my best to watch my diet. Lots of veggies and fruits. Meat only a few times a month. I still do have my weaknesses - the occasional delicious fruity wine, Cheez-its, fancy cheeses, raspberry jams, etc, but for the most part I've gotten a lot better.

I've discovered a lot of tricks along the way. Some of them include:

  • Swapping out peanut butter filled with saturated fat with unsaturated almond butter
  • Putting frozen fruit in my water (yay fruit and water!)
  • No sodas of any sort
  • Black coffee
  • Tea w/ light brown sugar and goji berries
  • Kefir (lots of bacterial cultures) instead of reduced fat milk
  • Avoiding mochas and pumpkin spice lattes from Starbucks (I go for the skim milk normal latte instead)
  • Quiches with lots of veggies
  • Making my own kale chips instead of french fries or potato chips
  • Making my own spaghetti sauce, filled with chunky vegetables instead of store-bought ones
  • Fruit smoothies blended with real fruit, kefir, and frozen non-fat Greek yogurt
  • Swapping out ice cream for frozen yogurt
  • Etc. 


I still have a long way to go in terms of diet and health (e.g. sleeping more normal hours, not stressing as much) but it's way better than before!

Influenster College VoxBox!

/ Monday, November 19, 2012 /
20121119_195703

I recently got a box of goodies from Influenster. For those who don't know, Influenster is an online community, quote unquote the website, "where tastemakers and trendsetters come to share the latest and greatest news, places, products, and reviews with each other."

Basically, it's a site where you one can rate products, talk about their reviews, and do other things like this.

After reading about this on hannahfyed's blog, I decided to create a profile for this and see what happened.

I guess all of those reviews and other stuffs I do here and on Influenster got me a Voxbox - a box filled with products that are pretty darn awesome, that pertain to particular users. Here, I got the College VoxBox for 2012. I've got to say that even though I've graduated from undergrad, I'm still in college (after all, my med school has "College" in its name). So I've got to say "thank you" to Influenster for giving me the chance to get this box!

Products:

imPress Press-On Manicure
NYC New York Color Show Time Glitter Eyeliner Pencil in Black
Necco Tropical Wafers
Energy Sheets
Pentel EnerGel-X

I'd just like to say thank you to Influenster for giving me the chance to try these products. We'll see what happens!
^_^

Getting married, engaged, having kids???

/ Monday, October 17, 2011 /
Hey guys and gals,

So, currently, I'm a senior in college. I'm 21 years old. I feel like my life is just beginning, that perhaps sometimes I still feel like I'm a child. However, sometimes it seems like my friends, peers, and acquaintances who are around my age are growing up way faster than I am!

Lately, three of my friends have just gotten engaged. One of my former roommates just got married. Several of my friends from high school are having children.

Wow... time is moving so quickly. As my third grade teacher would put it, "Tempus Fugit", or "time flies" in Latin. In a few years, I will be at the age my mother was when she got engaged. However, I am amazed at all of these people 'getting hitched' - I still feel like I'm a child at times; I want to mature more during school, go through professional school, get my career started, etc, before I'm ready to "get married and have kids." Sure, my biological clock is ticking. Every woman's biological clock is constantly ticking. But I have to sacrifice this in order to be able to have a career so that I can provide for my child. So, sorry mom, I can't do what you did when I am at your age. I need to get my career on track first.

On the other hand, the dating scene at my college is TERRIBLE. Most of the boys are very nerdy, shy, or immature, or something. The mature ones are mostly already taken. As a woman jaded by the dating system, "where are all of the decent men in the world?" "Why are all of the decent men taken?"

Lolz.

What do you peeps think of this?

Do you have friends who are engaged, married, or are having children, or already have children? And those who got engaged/married/had children in their late teens/early twenties/in college?

What about the dating scene in your colleges/high schools/graduate schools/work/anywhere?

What is your opinion of the ticking biological clock?

Do you know of any women who want to sacrifice their "mommy career" in lieu of a "professional career"? What's your opinion of women becoming like this?

<3

Rain.... + shortcuts

/ Sunday, October 9, 2011 /
Hey guys,

Wow.... so around 7 AM today, the sky decided to rain for the first time (like, legit rain) in 1/2 year. It's been pouring ever since then. I haven't been really able to sleep, but since we're on term break I guess it's a good season and good reason for having lazy weather. The sky is all gray and cloudy, like we're in Seattle or something. I would have a picture for you all, but unfortunately I'm stuck in lab till the rain dies down and my camera's back in my room. Hopefully pics later.

Since I had to come to lab today, and the rain didn't let up, I basically walked/trudged through ~4 inches of rain water to get to lab. Granted, the lab I work in is only a few minutes away from the dorm, but still, when I got there, it was terrible. I had a tiny umbrella, and you can only imagine what it was like. I was trying to fit all of me, a large purple backpack, and a large white purse under a tiny umbrella, maybe spanning 3 feet in diameter. Kinda difficult.

By the time I got to lab, I was completely SOAKED. I was wearing flip-flops because I didn't think rainboots were necessary (big fail there) and because it is very difficult to navigate in lab with rainboots. Meaning, they'd be hard to take off, and if acid or something were to corrode them it would be terrible. I would change into my sneakers for lab later. My laptop bag (the laptop sleeve that covers my laptop when I carry it around) was soaked, my backpack was soaked, even my lab coat, which was in a plastic bag inside my backpack, was really really wet.

Yikes.

Thankfully my laptop wasn't soaked; THAT would've been really bad.

Anyways, so what I did I do to ameliorate the situation?

There's a blow dryer in the lab bathroom for drying your hands and stuff. So thus, I just took my backpack, my laptop sleeve, my lab coat, etc, and let them cook under it. And hoorah, everything got so dry and warm! My lab coat was soo cozy to wear; it felt like it had just come out of the dryer (which, in fact, it actually did huh?).

So yeah, afterwards, working in lab was nice and cozy. Although afterwards, I need to trudge back to the dorm... ai ya another soaking journey...

<3

Obsessions....

/ Thursday, October 6, 2011 /
I feel like my life circles in obsessions at times. When I was young, I obsessed about cartoons. Every Saturday morning, I would get up at 7 AM and watch around 5 hours of cartoons, Pokemon, Yu-Gi-Oh, Fairly Oddparents, Dragonball, Dragonball Z, Gundam, Inu-Yasha, whatever. Then for awhile, it was classical music; I wanted to get everything my hands could lay on on those things.

My obsession phases afterwards:
1. Playing videogames at supermarkets and stores
2. Anime
3. Manga
4. Seventeen magazines and the other magazines you would see at checkout counters, tabloids
5. Asian pencils/pens
6. Gel pens
7. Quality school supplies

Once I got to college, I think things became even more materialistic.
8. Nail polish
9. Makeup
10. Skin products
11. Working out (I guess that's a good thing, until I get into the phase of running 20+ miles a week)
12. I'm currently on clothes and jewelry. Lately I've just been obsessing about wanting more clothes. It's so bad. I don't even care about the quality; if they're cheap or secondhand, I don't care, I just want more clothes.
I buy them over the internet, at stores, everything.

This is just TERRIBLE!!!!
I don't really know why. Why do I go through such phases? Why do such things happen all the time? How do I get rid of such obsessions?

Example:
I think currently I have around 20 or 30 nail polishes, and some of them might be expired. I don't want to get rid of them - I just want to hoard them. It's quite terrible.

I just threw away my covergirl lashblast mascara today (it was around 4 months old). It irritated my eyes and everything. I've had the Almay OneCoat for around 1.5 months, so I guess it'll last 1.5 more months.... thus I'll have to get rid of it around Thanksgiving.

Any suggestions for the next mascara I should buy?
<3

Shin Ramyun

/ Thursday, September 22, 2011 /
The stereotype about college students is that they LIVE on ramen. Or rather, instant noodles.

Me? I eat them for a snack. I have a meal plan at the university's cafeteria, which means I get breakfast/lunch/dinner Monday -Friday and breakfast and lunch on Saturdays and lunch and dinner on Sundays. Which is 19 meals a week.

But what about midnight cravings?

I am IN LOVE with Shin Ramyun noodles.
http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-snc4/41589_118718505699_5136649_n.jpg
They are really hot and delicious. They are terrible for me but I still enjoy them. While I am still a college kid I actually have an excuse to eat them.

What is your favorite kind of instant noodle?

Sorry....

/ /
Hey guys,

I want to apologize for not updating in a LONG LONG LONG time. I've been extremely, extremely busy with school. The semester just started up again and as a senior I have a honors senior thesis to write and publish by the end of the year. Along with a lot of other capstone courses and my extracurrics and everything, this is has just been CRAZY.

So to make up, I'll (try my best to) post lots of posts with lots of density for these next few weeks. whoo!!!

First updates first. I broke up with my boyfriend ~3 weeks ago. There were a lot of reasons. He was wanting too much from me.... wanted stuff from me that I couldn't give to him. It was a difference in beliefs and values. He wanted things that I couldn't provide, and I wanted things that he wasn't willing to give. So we parted ways. Or rather, I said goodbye to him.

And now I am very very very glad that episode of my life is over. VERY GLAD.

http://images.fastcompany.com/upload/happiness_bulldogdrummond.jpg
SOOO HAPPY!
Next. I moved back onto campus and this time have a new room setup. I bought some new furniture (new mirror, bookstand, suitcases, boxes, etc). Enough with the boring stuff. I also got a new laptop cooler. I tried making some videos using my webcam on my computer but basically the entire time my voice was cut off by the laptop's fan RUNNING AND RUNNING AND RUNNING. Seriously it sounded like I was on an airplane flight or something with the airplane's turbines right next to me. Seriously. Terrible.

Laptop Notebook Cool Pad w/ 3 Fans
http://www.amazon.com/Laptop-Notebook-Cool-Pad-Fans/dp/B001B077PO/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1316728973&sr=8-1

This was the laptop cooler I got. Isn't it cool??? It's got LED lights and everything. And with Amazon Prime (Amazon student prime) it cost only $4.89. Great deal for a pretty thing that helps so much.

Next. I ordered a Harry Potter scarf and beanie for the winter. Now, down in this part of the south you usually don't wear these things unless if it's the dead middle of winter. Which is for about 2-3 months at most each year. Which thus means that these aren't very efficient. But I AM A DIE-HARD HARRY POTTER FAN. Seriously. I wasn't able to sign up for Pottermore (I didn't want to wake up at 6 or 7 AM everyday to do it) but I basically know all of the trivia facts, own all of the books, both hardcover and ebook and softcover, have the posters, everything. About time I got some more memorabilia.

http://www.amazon.com/Harry-Potter-Gryffindor-House-Purple/dp/B0006GYLOE/ref=sr_1_1?s=electronics&ie=UTF8&qid=1316729147&sr=1-1


http://www.amazon.com/Elope-LU2365-Gryffindor-House-Beanie/dp/B000XEVDTK/ref=sr_1_1?s=electronics&ie=UTF8&qid=1316729176&sr=1-1

Aren't they lovely?

Anyways, that's all for this post. Just some miscellaneous updates on my crazy college life. Toodles!!!

My Makeup Story

/ Tuesday, June 7, 2011 /
Hi guys,


Today I'm going to go back to makeup stuff and answer one of the most common tags on the internet. My makeup story.


Makeup Default Girly Stuff
http://www.layoutsparks.com/1/103146/makeup-default-girly-stuff.html



Questions:
1. How old were you when you started wearing makeup?



I started wearing makeup when I was 16, a junior in high school. But back then it was basically just smearing on some eyeshadow and eyeliner. I didn't really understand how to use it and it looked pretty terrible. I didn't really get into it till my second year in college, when I actually started watching tutorials and trying out different looks.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1164888/Should-let-year-old-girl-wear-make-up.html

2. How did you get into makeup?


I think it was really via viewing youtube videos and seeing all the looks that were possible to be created. I feel like the face is a painting, and truly makeup is a form of beautiful art. Only in this case, it is art for the face. Isn't that cool?
http://www.examiner.com/beauty-events-in-new-york/make-up-for-ever-body-painting-and-makeup-event


3. What are some of your favorite brands?


I really like ELF (eyeslipsface). That's really because it's extremely cheap, and on my incredibly limited college budget (and saving up for med school) it works well. I also like CoverGirl for mascaras, and, through mom, Estee Lauder is cool too. 
http://www.firstcoastweddings.com/2010/02/beauty-at-a-bargain/1563

4. What does makeup mean to you?


Makeup for me is several things. At first, when I first started, it was a way to cover my insecurities about myself (I used weigh a lot more than I do now, and I used to look like a total dork/geek/nerd in high school). My confidence has increased a bit sense then, and now, for me, makeup is a way to express myself, to increase my confidence still, and to make me feel more free and liberated.


http://idietplan.net/Beauty_Life/make-up-classes-recovery-school-lets-students-catch-up/


5. If you could only wear 4 products on your face what would they be?


They would be (1) eyeshadow, (2) mascara, (3) eyeliner, (4) concealer. The very basics for eyes.
http://www.smokeyeyemakeup.com/



6. What is your favorite thing about makeup?


My favorite thing about makeup is that it allows me to express myself in ways I have never been able to before. It is literally like painting a picture on my face. It is a very mobile form of art, since I take it everywhere I go.
Emily Ann Emmett Make Up Artist in Newcastle United Kingdom UK England
http://ferenc.biz/photography/miss-emily-ann-emmett-make-up-artist-newcastle-united-kingdom



7. What do you think about drugstore makeup vs high end makeup?


I think that drugstore makeup can be just as high-quality as high end makeup. I've actually used both, but I feel like sometimes drugstore makeup can actually be better than high end makeup. For example, I am really wary and cautious about mascara, because I really need a good one (I have short, straight, sparse eyelashes), and the drugstore ones I've used (Covergirl LashBlast Length + Volume, Almay) are actually a lot better than the high end ones (Estee Lauder Magnificent Lash? something like that).


http://www.ioffer.com/offer_transactions/show/12450751


8. What is one tip of advice you can give to a beginner? 


I would say that the adage that "less is more" is definitely true. Please do not slather on tons of makeup onto your face at once - due to lack of experience, it'll more likely make one look like a clown rather than a beauty model. 
Trust me - I learned this the hard way in middle school.

http://blogs.citypages.com/blotter/2009/05/gop_clowns_bach.php

9. What is one makeup trend you never understood?


One makeup trend I never understood was setting eyeliner with eyeshadow. Getting eyeshadow where eyeliner should be, especially on the lower lashes, just would get eyeshadow into your eyes and irritate and hurt your eyes.
http://www.theucbinstituteofallergy.com/patientspublic/knowbetteryourallergy/allergicdiseases/respiratoryallergy/conjunctivitis/index.asp

10. What do you think about the beauty community on YouTube?


I think the beauty community on youtube has really helped me improve a lot on my makeup techniques, as well as taught me a lot of tricks and tips for improving my skincare and health. It's awesome!
http://ohinternet.com/YouTube

How to get your caffeine fix

/ Saturday, May 28, 2011 /
Hey guys,

So as you all probably know already, I am a college student. In fact, not to brag, I go to a pretty prestigious college in the US (which one it is, I will not say, but it was rated by USA today as one of the top 20 in the US). Sorry, I just wanted to support my school a bit anonymously. I love my school, its spirit, the dormitory system, the classes, my friends, everything. Anyways, sorry. Back to my point: my school life can be very busy, quite hectic at times. And it is for basically all college students these days. We have classes at 9 PM, review sessions at 11 PM or midnight, practices at midnight, etc etc etc. We have weekend parties, all-nighters, etc etc etc. It's absolutely crazy.

http://collegecandy.com/2009/02/03/weve-all-been-there-the-all-nighter/

So what do you do when you're in the middle of everything, and you have to stay up to do work and stuff? Well, you do what you need to do. You get your fix of whatever to keep you awake.

I've tried just about everything, and here's my two cents on all of those things....

1. Coffee - start with the basics. 
http://www.coffeehousemystery.com/UserFiles/Image/CoffeeWithHeart(1).jpg
Coffee does work, but only when your brain is in a stable state to tolerate it. This is going to get a bit sciency....

So basically, what your brain does is that when it is tired, in the synapses of the neurons of your brain (those are the gap spaces between your brain cells, which are linked together like pieces of wire) it releases a chemical called adenosine.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/7/72/Adenosine.png

Adenosine triggers a signal in your body that tells your body that it is tired. Thus, you yawn, your attention span decreases, you have a yearning to drift off, etc etc etc.

Now, what caffeine does is that it stops adenosine from being released into your synapses, thus stopping you from feeling the effects of adenosine. In essence, it tricks your limbs into thinking that you are not tired. Tricky molecules... 
http://www.natural-remedies-review.com/image-files/chemical-structure-caffeine.png

Tricky molecules huh?? Here they are side by side for comparison:

http://img.search.com/thumb/5/53/Caffeine_and_adenosine.svg/350px-Caffeine_and_adenosine.svg.png

Anyways, sorry about that aside. I'm a bio nerd so I'm kind of obsessed about things like this. So, what happens is that the caffeine basically tricks your body, like before. But, the thing is that you caffeine doesn't work after adenosine has already been released. Thus, if you are already tired, caffeine won't help. This is why you can have 4 cups of coffee sometimes and still be able to fall asleep. You just have to drink it at the right time for it to work. So, the trick is to drink it when you know you will be tired later.

Anyways, thus, coffee works fine for me, but I have to add milk or stevia or agave nectar or something. If I don't add anything, all it does is make me nauseated and want to throw up. Alternatively, espresso shots also work, although you might want to dilute them with milk and sugar and stuff.

http://cache2.allpostersimages.com/p/LRG/14/1462/3TGQ000Z/posters/de-villeneuve-fabrice-espresso-cup.jpg

Tricky stuff eh?
To read more, click the jump!


Boba tea!

/ Tuesday, May 3, 2011 /
If you are a college kid, or have been a college kid within the last 5 years, chances are you will have heard of boba tea, or aka bubble tea.


This tea is absolutely DELICIOUS! For me, it's quite addicting. It basically consists of tapioca inside of milk tea or plain green tea or jasmine tea. Different flavors can be added, including but not limited to: lychee, passion fruit, guava, orange, green apple, grape, strawberry, etc etc etc.

There are the milky kinds:
http://schoolzone.mytimesdispatch.com/images/uploads/bubbletea.jpg

And then there are the kinds that don't have milk, such as jasmine or green tea:

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3458/3218826928_a71a07a751.jpg

Of course, you can always get it without boba:
http://tinyurl.com/3g8fuf3

Or you can get it as lattes, smoothies, shaved ice form, whatever. You can even add sinkers such as jelly or almond pudding or something. Whatever your heart desires.

The sad thing is that these are not really cheap for drinks. They come around $4 a pop. But seriously they are a good treat for a random Saturday night, or a cheap date!

My favorite kind? Green tea boba or jasmine tea boba, without milk. I feel that tea should be unadulterated by milk, whereas coffee can be doused by milk and sugar and stuff (after all, at least for me, it tastes horrible!).

 http://static.wix.com/media/adcc3a6c3203149561df47c284c71af4.wix_mp_256

Some people might be unnerved by the sight of tapioca; trust me, those chewy balls are kind of intricate. If you really don't like them, you can just get the tea without the boba/tapioca.
 http://shiningfromwithin.files.wordpress.com/2011/01/valonia2.jpg Kind of looks like caviar, doesn't it? XD

I encourage you all to give it a try!!! ^_^
<3, chynagrl

Hey guys!

/ /







Hey guys!

Sorry it's been a long time since my last post. I've had a ton of exams, projects, papers, etc get in the way. I still have one more paper left, but I'm gonna take a break and work on this for now.

Craziness!!!!!

http://slublsa.files.wordpress.com/2009/04/finals.jpg


Anyways, I just wanted to share with you guys some stuff for the summer. I have an internship lined up and have to wake up around 6 AM everyday. Yeah I know for a college student that's absolutely horrific :( But still I really need the money for med school as well as my personal expenses, fees, books, etc for the school year. So broke right now :(

Does this describe your situation this Christmas? Don't despair! Better days lie ahead. http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/blogs/inoakland/author?auth=492

Onto beauty-related stuff, I just bought another ELF brush today, this time from Target. I got a studio kind just for kicks (since I usually use the Mineral line kind and they were out of the Professional line):

 https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLCOez_rJ0NuJuasrxaPkjqrtq7ABHa80R7iasDTHjmxwYIniszKSEcKqGtSacJrBlx2FjdeYJd_4KgviAIIfekUBX8aWlEVBZi0zfuf4u-mR1y6DsK0GNVaISDD9le5dC5k6CXl1zYw/s1600/DSCF1886.JPG

I was actually slightly disappointed. While it was nice that it would get dirty less easily, since it is black, at the same time the actual brush's bristles were shorter than those of the Mineral line's. It is a longer, heavier brush than the Mineral Brush, and I like the length, and can get used to the weight, but perhaps I'm just complaining because I've used the Mineral line brushes so much...

Here is a video from DaisyCheekz on the Day-to-Night quad from ELF, as well as the Eyelid Primer and lipstick (eacy only $1!):



Some people might say I'm cheap because I use ELF products all the time. Perhaps I go for quantity rather than quantity or something. Well the thing is that I really can't afford much right now... I'm already heavy into college debt, and I have to pay for med school still, so that doesn't leave me much room now does it? I constantly have jobs to pay for stuff but even still it's not enough. So please don't judge me; I'm only trying to do my best with what limited means I have, okay? Someday, when I do become a doctor, I'll do a haul with higher-quality, more expensive makeup, but for now, I'll settle for this.

 http://yourfriendstoo.wordpress.com/tag/career/
All right anyways enough with this negativity. I hope you guys have a great day with lots of happiness and sunshine!

<3, chynagrl

Stereotypes about Asians

/ Friday, April 8, 2011 /
I hate being stereotyped.

When most people see me in this world, what they see is what I am on the outside: an East Asian girl, short, petite, studious, intelligent, cares about parents and parents' expectations, lacks adequate driving skills, opposed to laziness, gets through with merit and diligence.


I hate this. Barely anyone sees past this bare surface, even people that I've known for a long time. It's absolutely terrible. Why can't people see beyond the obvious? Most people place me in a schema when they meet me - young, innocent, stereotypical Asian. That's it. They don't want to know about my personality, my thirst and need for intellectually-stimulating conversations, my passion for writing, my love of biology, my need to connect with people and my mission to help save the world. All it is is some stereotypical dragon lady or Geisha girl. Terrible.

I wish that people could just look past this barrier. This was what intrigued me about my ex; he was willing to look beyond the obvious and see me for something more, or at least my intellectual side. But ultimately he too placed me in a Dragon Lady/exotic Geisha girl category. Which is why it ended.

Why can't people just look beyond stereotypes and get to know the real person? Why can't they see what is really going on, what I really am, for my self? I spent so much of college trying to find my identity, especially since in HS I was so under the influence of my parents, family, cultural expectations, community expectations, worries about getting into college, and everything. Now that I'm in college, I finally for the first time have an outlet through which I can truly express myself. But ultimately, hardly anyone sees beyond that.

If only I could find someone, someone, a friend who would really look beyond that, beyond what appears on the surface.... that would truly be beautiful....

Dating scene in college....?

/ Thursday, April 7, 2011 /
Hi guys,

This post is going to be different from other posts I've done; it's going to be more.... personal, I guess, in a way, not (really) beauty-related, more about life.

From what you guys have gathered from my previous posts, you can probably tell I'm a college student. Yes, I'm a college student, and I'm a double-majoring pre-med at what many people would classify to be a pretty prestigious university. My grades are all right (my GPA is above a 3.8), I live in a dorm, I've finished most of my pre-med requirements and stuff, and I'm pretty much) squared away for med school.

So, now onto the stuff in my personal life. The dating scene at my college... basically sucks. Usually, I would describe the dating scene at any school to be a continuum:

<------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------>
Hook-ups              Casual Dating               Exclusive Dating         Engaged         Married

Now, some people might think this scale is silly, but this is basically what it's like in my mind. Different schools have different styles. At my college, it's mostly one of the extremes; people either go to random parties to find others to hook up with, or others are exclusively, steadily dating, in very serious relationships, and I have quite a few friends that are engaged, getting married soon (congratulations! I'm going to their weddings soon).

http://www.adayforyouweddings.com/

Where does that leave for people who want to try to get into the dating scene, and dislike hook-ups? Not really anything.

Personally, I don't like hook-ups. I want emotional commitment, I don't do hook-ups, that sort of thing. Then again, I'm barely in my 20s, and I don't want to get engaged/married, especially since I have all of med school, residency, fellowship, etc to do that. I want just some dating or something in-between. Unfortunately, that kind-of doesn't happen that often at my school. People are always incredibly busy, have tons of tests and stuff, and that doesn't leave time for extra stuff like this. I dated a guy at the beginning of this semester, and unfortunately, it didn't work out. I have this construct in my head of what guys and girls look for; predominately, guys look for the physical aspect (at least in the beginning), girls look for the emotional aspect, and gradually, for a relationship to work, it needs to come through to a nice happy medium in the middle.

Unfortunately, that didn't happen in my case. I wanted my (ex-) dude to be more emotionally committed; he (at least in my opinion) wanted body. I couldn't give (that much) to him, at least as of that time. It was really sad, but the break-up was mutual. We felt like it couldn't work out. So I'm back to square one....

 http://dealingwithabreakupadvice.com/

What do you guys/gals look for in a relationship? Do college relationships truly work out? What qualities do you look for in a guy/girl? Do you think the continuum on relationships that I posted above is legit, or real?

Oh yeah, btw, one of my friends and underclassman that I counsel (I'm a counselor as well) showed me this link about guys and girls' thoughts on dating, relationships; it's called ladder theory (the link below will describe it better than I can): http://www.laddertheory.com/

Do you guys/gals think the ladder theory is correct? At least for the general population?

All right, this was a pretty serious post, now time to get back to classes.

<3, chynagrl

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